Sunday, February 7, 2010

Contemplation

I can never satisfactorily decide if I am an invert or an extrovert. It's Sunday night and we had ward prayer at our house, and after about forty-five minutes of mingling and talking, here I am ensconced in my room, listening to the happy chatter of voices in the living room but content to not be among them.

Sometimes when I'm feeling worn down and tired the best thing in the world is to go out and talk to people and be lighthearted and listen to their stories and share a laugh or a tear. And sometimes it's so much better to come away and not associate with anyone but myself and Heavenly Father.

Hm. I may never come up with a conclusive answer. But I do know that after a contemplative Sunday, being frivolous is not a savory feeling. So I come away and spend time with my books and my journal and my thoughts. And my blog, I suppose. And I ponder on how to draw the best line for spending time with others and spending time alone. I've felt the importance lately of following the admonition of an excellent song- "Take time to be holy, the world rushes on. Spend much time in private with Jesus alone. By looking to Jesus, more like Him you'll be. Thy friends in they conduct His likeness will see." I don't think in any way that this means to become a hermit and close myself off from the world, but I do think it means that if there's a choice between frivolous socialization and private meditation and character review, right now at least I need to choose the latter.

Of course, it's even better when the deep meditation and contemplation and the socialization cross each other. I was very fortunate this weekend to be able to meet up with two exceptional friends- one on Friday night and one on Saturday night; the kind of people that I know I can talk about the peaceable things of the kingdom with, the good, deep, solid things that make life really worthwhile and full of substance, that leave me feeling content and sustained. And it makes me wish that there were maybe ten people at most in my living room right now instead of twenty or so, and that they were the kind of people that I knew well enough I knew had the depth to converse with like that.

But I'm glad that they're here and that they're having fun and unwinding after a long week. And I'm also glad that I have a space of my own where I can come when I want to seek solace and privacy. Time to contemplate.

2 comments:

laura marie said...

Let me guess. You are contemplating on just how much you love me. Right? Oh, and Lisa and I may take you up on the SLC sleepover soon. She needs a distraction. It would have to be in at least 3 weeks though.

Kangus Says: said...

You're so interesting lady. Since I am the deepest person you know, do you want to play more often?
also,
Will you be my Valentine?